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lion and the lamb

the planets aligned today and allowed miracles to appear before our mere human eyes...

 
 

#9 - chocolate sea salt

 

i saw this recipe on a blog (forgot which one now, sorry blog) and knew i had to make them.  because nothing says "i need you" to me like salt on top of sugar.

i made mine a little different because i wrapped the dough around a carmel square. 

they were phenomenally good the night i made them & brought them to sunday dinner.  they were pretty good the next morning when i ate one at 7am while i tried to wake up by mindlessly scrolling through facebook. but, that night, while mindlessly scrolling through facebook before bed....not so good.

the carmel got VERY chewy. and i also admitted to myself that i REALLY just don't like dark chocolate. at all. sadly, the rest got slid into the trash. 

if i ever make these again, i'll need to deliver them all out the same nite i make them!

1st time mom....with my 2nd child

 

there's something to be said for experience.

i know, i know, every child is different.

but you know what? they're also all the same.  that's why "child-rearing" books exist. shelves full. because there are certain things that can be said for most kids in any given age-group.

but a wierd thing is happening over here at our house: i'm learning, sometimes the hard way, what 2 year olds do/are. things i did not know about before. and some i am unprepared for.

i am, currently, a 1st time mom....with my 2nd child. i've decided to start keeping a running tally list, so in the event i ever meet another mom who finds herself bewildered when someone says, "you've never had outlet covers in your house?" i'll be able to be helpful with the rest of the stuff they should already know about....but don't.

things i JUST found out 2 year olds do:

1. yeah, stick stuff in outlets
2. take off their diapers during their nap and poop & pee all over their crib.
3. take off their diapers all around the house every 10-15 minutes...and pee. (poop still TBD)
4. pound on the piano
5. run toward the street when a car is coming
6. when you scream their name & yell STOP!, they run faster.
7. rip books
8. have to go in timeout during candyland
9.  1-8 can all happen in the same day.
to be continued....

 

open letter

 

open letter to all the people who've told me (some repeatedly) that you shouldn't take 4 year olds to europe:

dear people:

as far as i can tell, your main arguement is that: "he won't even remember it". do i have that right? cause....

trite answer:
he also won't remember learning to brush his own teeth, write his middle name, or how to dial the phone. how to have good manners, be polite, helpful and honest.

but i think you'd agree those are things we should do.

serious answer:
he also won't remember us laying down to read everyday, but i hope it helps him earn a love of learning.
he won't remember us riding bikes, horses or skateboards, flying kites, fishing, skiing or hiking, but i hope it helps him learn to love the outdoors.

he won't remember us studying art & artists, or butterflys, or medevial armor, dinosaurs, or the origin of dragon folklore, but i hope it creates a thirst for knowledge.

he won't remember putting stars on his chore chart, putting dollars in his piggy bank, working in the yard, putting away laundry, or mopping the floor, but i hope he learns the reward of hard work.

and yeah, he probably WON'T remember going to europe...this time...but i REALLY hope it's the beginning of his crave for adventure. that it creates a spark in him to explore all the wonders of the world.

and most importanly, i hope he starts to understand how exciting life is. can be. that as much as we love our little world, it stretches far beyond double oak street. far, far beyond all of his grandparents & aunts & cousins he spends most of his days with.

there are things to do, and see, and be.

especially be.

of course i know it isn't necessary.  that if he never left the country he may well still feel the same way, about something else.  i'm just saying, dear friend(s), if the opportunity presents itself....why not?

the sin isn't in not going, the sin is in not going if you can.

besides, is there anything cuter than a 4 year old passport photo?

sincerly,
candice

dog days

 

leading up to saint patricks day levi came home from school with "homework".

he had to draw a picture of what he would do if he found a pot of gold. we discussed it, and he was unclear about the actual function of a pot of gold. or, why a pot of gold would be so desirable.

after i explained it, i asked again, "sooooo....what would you do if you found a pot of gold?"
"i would buy a dog."
...
...
...
as much as i wanted to criticize this small-pot-of-gold-dream, i held my tongue. "ok, well, draw a dog then." clearly we need to work on expanding our dream base.

within a few minutes he was upset. the dog he had drawn looked like a cow. i told him maybe it was just a tall dog. tears were shed. and then some more tears. he could NOT take that to school.

lecture about the worth of those specific tears was provided. he didn't argue me, but he also didn't move from the chair. he just stayed still, holding his square yellow cardstock, staring at it. after a few minutes, he dejectedly conceeded,
"i guess i can just get a cow with my pot of gold...."

in the end he decided that if he wrote "dog" on the picture, it would definitely clear up any confusion about its cow-esque appearance.

my favorite part was the last minute "checkmark" added to the end. as if to make it MORE firmly a dog. checkmarks are powerful that way....

disney

 our season passes for disneyland were gettting ready to expire. so we HAD to squeeze in another visit. this time we talked heidi & gracie into coming with us!

obviously, lots of fun stuff went down, but 2 CRAZY things happened:

1. we went to go through the entrance. they scanned my season pass. and THEN they said, "oh, today is a blackout day for season pass holders..."  huh?  "yeah, it's spring break this week."  HUH??!! yeah.  we went to disneyland on spring break. to use our season pass. that wasn't valid.  deep sigh.

2. we left our hotel room @ 9am, and came back @ 1am. the next day.  now, this may not seem like something to qualify as "crazy" but....for this mom - it is. the first 7 years heidi & paul were married and neither of us had kids i told them, around 2x a year, that i would pay for them & their kids to go to disneyland, if they would agree to take my kids with them.  big time.  i have zero disney love.

i know, i know, dogpile on me. i don't like dogs OR disneyland OR halloween.

what kind of ogre am i??!!

so to go from: "can you take my kids to disneyland for me?" to buying season passes was already a surprising jump...but then staying there 16 hours!!! crazy.

levi was a trooper. i refused to bring a stroller and push him around, my theory is: if you're too tired to walk, you're too tired to be at disneyland.(see ogre part), and he never complained once. at 1am when we were all doing the bare minimum (i.e. put purse down, take bra off) before falling into bed, he took the time to line all of our shoes up neatly by the door, to make sure his suitcase was level on the luggage rack, and the last thing i saw as i drifted into R.E.M. was him making sure the blanket of our shared bed was spread out evenly.

next time i'm getting a stroller for me and he can push ME around.

regardless of the initial bru-ha-ha, both kids were so appreciative - telling us they loved this day every 10 minutes - that it was totally worth it. if you're DYING to see all the dland action (HEIDI), click here

snow day

woke up this morning with a wild hair. an hour later, in the snow. no other explanation needed:

 
 
 
 
 

 
 

 
 
 
 

sunday dogma

dear heavenly father,

please bless we'll have good sleep.

and that all the monsters in the dreams will go away from all the boys in the earth.

and... .... please bless a lot of girls can smile all the days.

name of jesus christ, amen

#8 - golf cakes

 

poor dad.  his birthday was 4 days after the 10 hour rapunzel cake extravaganza. so...he got it phoned in with some golf cupcakes.

if you have to check in with 2 4-year olds and ask them what those powdered donuts are on top, you know you're pushin it.

luckily they both thought they were golf balls, so i carried on.  the good news is, and really, all that matters, the cupcakes were my favorite chocolate cake.  YES! AGAIN. i wasn't teasing when i said i'd be making it a lot this year....that's what? 3 times? so far....

kate

i know i'm not supposed to believe in palm readers or psychics. and i suppose 99% of the time i don't. but...that 1% can sometimes sneak in, and leave me wondering. because:

when i was 25 i was eating at an outdoor cafe in los angeles with a few friends. a woman walked by us on the sidewalk, then stopped, turned around, and came back. she stood over our table,
"i'm sorry to intrude", she said, "but would you mind letting me read your palm?" she said to me.
"oh...no...no thank you"
"ok. i will respect your choice, but you should know that when i walked past your table i was overwhelmed with the desire to read a palm, and when i turned around, i saw that it was yours i need to read."
i was smiling politely, wondering how to turn her away...again. but my 3 friends were encouraging me to let her do it.  so i did.

holding my palm she said, "you'll get married twice, the first time to have kids, & the second time to your soulmate that you will meet in your 40's. your first baby will be a 'moon baby'" she continued, "he will be a boy, and will be very calm & easygoing. he will bring you much peace. he will be your comforter. your second baby, i can't tell if it is a boy or a girl, but this baby will give you a run for your money. this baby is very difficult for you. but in the end, you will have a very karmic relationship with this child."

by this time in her reading, i was barely paying attention. at 25, NONE of what she said my future held, was what i had in my master plan. NO WAY was i waiting till i was 40 to find my soulmate, and i certainly wasn't getting married twice, or having any sons. for sure no sons.

i said, thank you, wished her well, and giggled with my friends as she left.

fast forward 15 years, and...it's all come true. wierd, right?

all except 1 thing: she said my second baby would be 'difficult', and that's clearly not accurate. because my second baby, which turned out to be a girl, is tremendously, exceedingly, exceptionally, instensly, almighty, difficult.

seriously.

heidi had a dream that i showed up at her door with piper. i said, 'hey guys, i know you really want to have another baby....do you want this one?"  they said ummmmm, sure, and took her in and named her kate. so now that's our code word for her utmost naughtiest. as in: when i want to sit down and google "orphanges las vegas", instead i can just call heidi and say, "can kate come to your house for awhile?" or if i need to explain to someone in my family the intensity of any given day and why i will be bailing on something, i can just say, "we have kate x 10 today", and even once my dad opened his front door to a doorbell ring, and found "kate" standing there, alone, as my car wheels screeched out of the neighborhood. no further explanation needed.  it's so efficient. you know?

so the last 40 months of my life have been spent trying to work with my now 1.5 year old daughter. yes, even in her pre-utero days she was a rebel. we're all, always, on high-alert here at the stewart house, and i can't help but think back to my march 8, 2009 entry and wonder if i'm not a little psychic myself. i actually did not realize that i wrote that entry on the EXACT same day as today until i looked it up just now. how....apropos.

 
 

dear pickles,

as much as you seemingly dont want me, or anyone else, to, i love you. i know you don't believe you have the time for hugs, or cuddles, or quiet times together, but you really do. you have SO many minutes and hours and days ahead of you, and as your mother i feel a great weight of responsibility to teach you, to somehow convince you, that there is much reward in quiet times. in stillness. in putting down your battle-ax. just...for a moment. you're going to need this know-how.

as amused as i am at watching you arrive somewhere new (or any room, or pretty much anywhere different from where you were 2 minutes ago) scan the scene, and formulate your unyielding agenda, i'm also exhausted by it. even trying to help you with what you want somehow ends in tears. (mine)  i fall asleep earlier since you've been on the scene, and my last thought, as i drift away, is brainstorming new 'techniques' to survive you tomorrow.

we square off each morning, both of us refreshed and ready to push & pull the stick between us. sometimes i wonder if i shouldn't just give in. wonder if i'm sisyphus in this negotiation. but, you should know, i've a bit of my own joan of arc still pumping, albeit faintly, in my heart.

yeah, sorry, you didn't get a "choose-your-battles" type mom. i know that even if you were able to, you wouldn't believe me now, but this is a true stroke of luck on your part: because i firmly believe that giving in to you may bring us a more peacuful co-existence today, but would leave you focused on 'winning' all the wrong things. 

so feel free to continue on as you see fit. i've read dozens of books, searched the internet, interviewed countless other moms, i've been on my knees. your brother prays for your enlightenment every night. i'm ready for whatever you got.

but your time is limited, because, eventually, you WILL learn to use your confidence, agresssion, independence, resourcefulness, observantness and, yes, even your manipulative & stubborn -ness...

for good.

not evil.

and i'll be right here, keeping my eye on the "karmic relationship" ball we have coming. 

until then,

love,

mom.